thanks, ill take another look at that part. and they'll come in for another part soon, but then they'll be gone for the next 4 years. so....enjoy them while u can, ha.

Chapter 11, part 2
The Story Unfolds...in the Future?

The Vasari

8 years ago, galactic position 305,741, space anomaly named Esquian's Fall

    "I want a full status report," Fokxnim hissed quietly into the transmission's receiver.
    "Understood, Da'Mani'k," Kilodim responded smartly, saluting. He faced the transmission's view screen which projected a holographic display of Fokxnim's face and continued. "Early this morning at 1800 dapshas the Rakulas was notified of a disturbance in galactic sector 305, 741."
    "Esquian's Fall."
    "Yes, Da'Mani'k. The Rakulas immediately phased into the system to investigate. What we found was a half-destroyed ship that had somehow come through the wormhole."
    "Elaborate on this ship."
    "The technicians on the Rakulas believe that the ship's engines had exploded, rendering the ship immobile. It's reactor, while not intact, showed no signs of internal fracture. Meaning it did not explode, which is why there is even this large of a piece of rubble."
    "And you cannot identify the origin of the ship?"
    "Da'Mani'k, with all the respect that is due to your forefathers, we cannot. We have towed it into the repair bay at DECEIT and have assigned the engineers there to study it. Our minimal scan from the Rakulas could not identify the metal of origin which the ship was constructed from, but that was explained to be from the high degree of melting that the hull had undergone. Many different metals from the ship, such as the outer hull, inner hull, metal tubes in the infrastructure, and even the ceiling panels were all created out of different metals. If they were where they were supposed to be, our scan could have easily identified them. But the metals were melted and twisted together during the destruction of the ship. Currently it is impossible for us to identify which metals came from which section of the ship, and without that we cannot identify the ship."
    "But you know what metals were melted together?"
    "No, Da'Mani'k, we do not. The Rakulas's scans could not identify the metals in their current state, but keep in mind that it is not a research vessel. The engineers at DECEIT should not have a hard time of it."
    "Very well, you've found the ship floating at Esquian's Fall. How did it get through the wormhole?"
    "The technicians blame gravity, Da'Mani'k. The ship was pulled towards the center of the wormhole, and it was pulled through."
    "And you have no ideas of how the wormhole managed to reopen itself?"
    "None, Da'Mani'k. But it has closed now."
    "What?"
    "A few minutes before our conference we received notation from a Jikara that was watching the wormhole. It's light simply died, and when the scout went closer it picked up no radiation on its scanners. The wormhole had simply closed up again."
    "Just like that?"
    "We have no explanation for it."
    "Very well, the ship has come through, you have phased in. What happens next?"
    "The Mani'k were sent into the wreck to discover more about what happened to it. Mani'k Yorashknir--"
    "I know what happened with Yorashknir."
    Kilodim unobtrusively bit down on his arm to combat his embarrassment. When he spoke again, small rivulets of blood ran down his arm.
    "Yes, Da'Mani'k. We found a Vasari hiding in the darkest shadow of the command center."
    "Hiding?"
    "Yes, Da'Mani'k, we were as surprised as you. And ashamed. The Vasari was Mani'k."
    Fokxnim hissed quietly for a long moment. After he had mastered himself, he said, "I assume you immediately killed him after questioning?"
    "No, Da'Mani'k."
    "No?"
    "We thought that too quick an end to the Vasari. He is no longer Mani'k, and he will live out his life cleaning the decks of the Rakulas. I believe we will have his arms empty of blood in a week."
    "....I believe that is a good solution. Honor to your forefathers, Mani'k Kilodim."
    "Honor to your forefathers, Da'Mani'k."
    "You are dismissed."

The Advent

5 years ago, phase space

    Haiti opened his eyes and smiled. "That is what happened in truth?"
    Do you doubt the knowledge of the High One?  <Do you doubt the knowledge of the High One?>
    "No, only the validity of my vision, which was your memory. That is what you saw?"
    Yes, that is what happened. Veronica will have a rough time. <Yes, that is what happened. Veronica will have a rough time.>
    "That is not my concern. She is where she needs to be at the right moment. That is my concern."
    Tell me again why you care so much for this human. <Tell me again why you care so much for this human.>
    "Can't you read my mind and find out?"
    I already know what you are thinking. I want to hear you say it. <I already know what you are thinking. I want to hear you say it.>
    "This human moves at incredible speeds, but he seems to not know how he does it, and it pains him to do so. I want to harness whatever power he possesses for my own."
    How disgusting. To think it was my World of Visions that showed you this man. <How disgusting. To think it was my World of Visions that showed you this man.>
    "I am what you made me."
    I did not make you. You are not my creation. <I did not make you. You are not my creation.>
    "So Kartente can create life better than the High One?"
    Do not try to irritate me, Haiti. You will not live to be a thousand years. My creations will live forever. <Do not try to irritate me, Haiti. You will not live to be a thousand years. My creations will live forever.>
    "What creations do you speak of? The Advent cannot live forever. The oldest Advent in history only lived to be four thousand years old!"
    My creation is incomplete. You know that Advent stands for thirteenth, don't you? You know how the Advent were created. <My creation is incomplete. You know that Advent stands for thirteenth, don't you? You know how the Advent were created.>
    "Remind me."
    Back during the Great Split of Earth, when the two Trader sects split from each other, the sect that had split from the original Traders named itself the Illumis, and cast themselves from Earth in search of a planet that would tolerate their beliefs. <Back during the Great Split of Earth, when the two Trader sects split from each other, the sect that had split from the original Traders named itself the Illumis, and cast themselves from Earth in search of a planet that would tolerate their beliefs.>
    And I found them. <And I found them.>
    I experimented on them, trying to create the perfect race, a race infused with Spirituality. <I experimented on them, trying to create the perfect race, a race infused with Spirituality.>
    "Spirituality is what again? You say it as if it is not something religious."
    You would not know, not being raised as all other Advent are raised. You were, in fact, never a child at all. Spirituality is the power behind the creation of the universe, the force behind all other forces. It is the base from which I constructed what the Advent call PsiTech. Over time Spirituality has developed a religious significance, but it is a force of nature, not to be trifled with. It is the force of nature. It is infused within the Spirits that govern the Universe. <You would not know, not being raised as all other Advent are raised. You were, in fact, never a child at all. Spirituality is the power behind the creation of the universe, the force behind all other forces. It is the base from which I constructed what the Advent call PsiTech. Over time Spirituality has developed a religious significance, but it is a force of nature, not to be trifled with. It is the force of nature. It is infused within the Spirits that govern the Universe.>
    "And so the Advent are not perfect?"
    No. They were the most promising, but they are not yet complete. Perhaps the Damain will succeed where the Advent have failed. That is fourteenth in the language of the High One, my language. Or maybe the fifteenth, the Numar. I am not a hasty being, I have been alive for eons of eons. There will come a time, Haiti, when I will remove the Advent from the Universe. Remember that. You will not live to be a thousand years, but the Advent will too become extinct. Remember that always. <No. They were the most promising, but they are not yet complete. Perhaps the Damain will succeed where the Advent have failed. That is fourteenth in the language of the High One, my language. Or maybe the fifteenth, the Numar. I am not a hasty being, I have been alive for eons of eons. There will come a time, Haiti, when I will remove the Advent from the Universe. Remember that. You will not live to be a thousand years, but the Advent will too become extinct. Remember that always.>
    "I see..." Haiti murmured, brow furrowed.
    No, you do not see. You only think you see. But back to Veronica, and the human. You know he will try to kill you? <No, you do not see. You only think you see. But back to Veronica, and the human. You know he will try and kill you?>
    "Ha, let him try," Haiti scoffed, "there is not a Silent One alive that can come near me! Most Advent can't even approach me if I do not want them to. What does that man have that I could possibly fear?"
    He can traverse the World of Visions. <He can traverse the World of Visions.>
    "What? I have never felt another presence there!"
    He came several times before you were even...created, Haiti. He has not come in some time, but he can. He does not know how he does it, and he almost kills himself each time, but he can do it. His son has the ability too, although he has not experienced a force-flash yet. <He came several times before you were even...created, Haiti. He has not come in some time, but he can. He does not know how he does it, and he almost kills himself each time, but he can do it. His son has the ability too, although he has not experienced a force-flash yet.>
    "His son? He's not even born yet! A child newly made in the womb!"
    You have been watching him closely. His other son, the one not biologically connected to him. The soldier. You somehow brought him for a few moments into the World of Visions, but he does not know what that was nor does he hear the song of that World. <You have been watching him closely. His other son, the one not biologically connected to him. The soldier. You somehow brought him for a few moments into the World of Visions, but he does not know what that was nor does he hear the song of that World.>
    "What was it that we were even discussing?"
    What the human has that could make you frightened. He is still carrying the Vasari leeches, you know. <What the human has that could make you frightened. He is still carrying the Vasari leeches, you know.>
    "I understand, there are many things about this man that should frighten me. We will see how I feel once I meet him face-to-face."
    Do not delay it. It is up to you to decide whether the man remains a man, or is integrated into a Vasari. You don't want that to happen. <Do not delay it. It is up to you to decide whether the man remains a man, or is integrated into a Vasari. You don't want that to happen.>
    "Don't I? What do you know of my thoughts?"
    You forget again, Haiti. You have no thoughts that are hidden to me. You may be the strongest Advent, but I created the Advent. Even someone like you is not nearly as powerful as me. <You forget again, Haiti. You have no thoughts that are hidden to me. You may be the strongest Advent, but I created the Advent. Even someone like you is not nearly as powerful as me.>
    "We'll have to put that to the test someday."
    You tire me. I will be withdrawing Outside for some time. Do not try to scry me again. You will kill yourself this time. <You tire me. I will be withdrawing Outside for some time. Do not try to scry me again. You will kill yourself this time.>
    "Your wish is my command."
    If only it was. <If only it was.>

very good, i liked it. you overplayed the whole unidentifiable ship-thing a little, that section could be edited down. but this section was really good.

and wasnt it the vasari that worshipped the spirits? or is my memory failing me again. i dont think so.

have we seen kol "traverse the World of Visions?" i have a really bad memory

It is the Vasari that worship the Spirits, although we don't know that in Sinners yet. The Advent worship the High One, but the High One seems to know much about the Spirits. key foreshadowing there, for those of you that have read the Sinner's Mind Game. And Kol has. Remember when his fighter crashed into the Vasari capital ship? How he had this weird dream where the fire of life and the darkness of death surrounded him on two sides, and some voice spoke to him about his future? Somewhere in the chapter 5-6 range, I think. Don't quote me on that.

i vaguely recall this. thanks

I remember that chapter... where the voice talked to him... in what sounded like something shakespeare would write

hahaha yup. thats the one.

Chapter 11, part 3
The Council of Nine

The Vasari

8 years ago, galactic position 392, 778, planet code named DECEIT
aboard the Junakra

    Fokxnim slinked down the deserted hallway, a knife clutched tightly in his hand. It had taken him a long time to come to this decision. Assassination was once commonplace in Vasari society, but that was long before the Exodus and the Vasari were now too few for such harsh measures. Still, what had to be done had to be done. The murder of Fleet Admiral Commander Flankx would be greatly beneficial to the Vasari as a whole. And it would place Fokxnim in the Admiral Commander's position. It was not that Fokxnim cared for power, indeed he radiated it without the addition of the most powerful rank in Vasari society, but what mattered more to him was respect. If he did not get the respect that he thought was due to him, he would do anything it took for the unfortunate victim to realize it was in his best interest to kneel before Fokxnim on sight. And so this had to be done.
    A shadow appeared on the wall, cast by someone around the corner of the hallway. Fokxnim flattened himself against the wall, watching the shadow intently. Was it one Vasari? Or more? The shadow seemed to twirl and twist, so it was hard for Fokxnim to see if the shadow belonged to one Vasari, or nine. Then the shadow receded. A cold feeling swept down Fokxnim's spinal tube. With one last look at the corner, he promptly turned around and headed in the opposite direction, dropping the knife as he went. Murder was forbidden by the Vasari, it was an unspoken law. That was why he was not going to kill Flankx. The only reason. Fokxnim looked back at the corner. Besides, it seemed like Flankx was about to receive what was due to him anyway. They could judge this kind of thing a lot better than he could. He wouldn't dare stand up to them.


    Flankx was writing out an electric order when he heard his door close. He put down the transparent blue document and looked up. Nine Vasari flanked his desk in a half-circle. But there was something to these Vasari. They were not normal Vasari. They seemed to exude a power, a presence. And they were several inches taller than any Vasari he had every seen, so they seemed to leer down at him. Flankx's sixth sense cautioned him to be very careful around these Vasari. He paid it no heed.
    "What in the name of the Darkness are you doing here!" He shouted at them. When they did not flinch, he flung an arm at the door. "Get out! If you want an audience, you make an appointment with the High Captain!"
    The nine Vasari did not budge.
    "Flankx Sizkermahdi," one hissed, and the others took up the chant.
    "Flankx Sizkermahdi," they hissed, "Flankx Sizkermahdi."
    Stunned, Flankx sat back down in his chair.
    "You have been called, Sizkermahdi..."
    "You have been called...you have been called..."
    "Sizkermahdi...."
    Abruptly the hissing voices stopped. And one of the Vasari stepped forward. When he spoke, it was with a heavy hiss.
    "Flank Sizkermahdi, you have been called to approach the Council..."
    Was it only the one Vasari talking? The other Vasari's vocal strings did not move, but the one Vasari's voice echoed like the other eight were repeating him. With the voice of nine Vasari in one, the first Vasari continued.
    "You have been called before the Council of Nine, and you must stand judgement."
    It was definitely only the one Vasari talking. And yet Flankx was equally sure he was hearing all of their voices at once, speaking the same exact lines. And he had heard of the Council of Nine....
    They were the ultimate judges of the Vasari. They came to those who broke so strong a law of the Vasari that none other could deal with them. They were used to frighten newly integrated species. Do what I say, or I will send the Council of Nine after you! Most believed they were a myth, a boogeyman in the shadows. Some even thought the Council of Nine was the Darkness! Flankx personally had never really thought they existed. Yet here they were, standing in front of him. Without a doubt Flankx knew they were standing in front of him.
    "You have erred, Sizkermahdi," they hissed in unison, "you have erred, and you will pay."
    "Please."
    It came out as no more than a whisper. Flankx cleared his throat and tried again.
    "Please, have mercy," he begged, the rage of this embarrassment to his pride not enough to combat the sheer terror that coursed through him, "have mercy and let me go. You can have whatever you want. Credits, power, you can even have the Admiral Commander position! I don't want it! Just take it and leave me be!"
    "The Admiral Commander position is ours, Sizkermahdi," the Council of Nine hissed together, "it was ours and it will always be ours. It is ours to give away, and it is ours to take away."
    They let this sink in.
    "And yet," the Council of Nine continued, "we have decided you are still the best Vasari for this position. None other could handle it the way we need it to be handled in the times ahead. But you will not just take this away from Vorg, you will do as he and all other Fleet Admiral Commanders have done to acquire their position."
    "What must I do?" Flankx asked, hoping against hope that they would not say what he knew they would say...
    "You will take the Test," the Council of Nine hissed, "and you will pass, or you will die. You have no choice in this matter. You have decided to banish the Spirits from your soul the moment you shamefully took the life of another Vasari. For this you will have no choice. You will either succeed...or you will die."
    The Test. The nightmare that lurked around the Admiral Commander's position. It is said that if the Council of Nine came to you and gave you the choice to become Fleet Admiral Commander, if you agree they will always give you a test. The Test. If you pass, you have the position. If you fail...then you die. There is no turning back after the first time you agree. But Flankx was not being given the choice to say no. This was payment for his torture and murder of Vorg, that Flankx knew. And the Test was supposed to be impossible. Only half of the Vasari who had taken the Test returned. Those who didn't just...disappeared. Flankx gulped, trying to steady his emotions. He hadn't felt so scared since he was newly integrated! He hadn't been more nervous since the day he had murdered his clone host.
    "When do I start," Flankx murmured as soon as his hearts had steadied. They beat slightly faster than normal, twin drums on the two sides of his chest.
    "You start tomorrow," the Council of Nine smiled, all of them, all in perfect synch with one another. Without another word they turned and marched out the door, which the first one pulled open. Flankx watched them leave as if under a spell. As soon as the door shut, however, the spell broke and Flankx bounded to his feet. He peered down the long stretches of corridor on either side of his door. The Council of Nine had disappeared.

During review of this last part I noticed that I had some improper tense agreements. While you read it if you can spot any verbs that I don't have in the past tense and quote them for me, that'd be great. The sentence that went, "Flankx gulped, trying to steady his emotions," is ok. Just so you can see the difference. Gulped is in the past tense, so its proper tense agreement, as the other verb are "helping out" gulped. Don't want a million quotes on words that are actually ok.

Anyway, whatever. If you know what you are doing and you spot improper tense agreements, let me know. If you don't, leave it be and it'll get fixed eventually. And this part was purposefully short. Don't complain, the next chapter's gonna blow your minds. (If you're reading the Vasari history thread, you'll have an idea of what's coming.)

[quote who="C.I." reply="443" id="2377532"] He hadn't felt so scared since he was newly integrated! He hadn't been more frightened since the day he had murdered his clone host.
[/quote]

you contradict yourself here.  scared and frightened are synonyms.  unless the two days are the same, in which case the phrasing is unclear, for it implies the opposite.

edit: what the hell?  damn quote glitches.

i dont mind that so much. but, you could change one of them to nervous, or something similar. might be a little bit better.

i noticed you took a lot of the ideas that you wrote on allegiance's vasari culture post, and put them in this part. it was interesting

nervous it is.

Chapter 12, part 1
The Dangers of the Past

The Vasari

8 years ago, galactic position 392, 778
aboard the Jukara

    Flankx breathed rhythmically, trying to calm his two beating hearts. The Council of Nine would be here soon. And Flankx had made his choice. He almost couldn't remember meeting the Council, for the shame of his actions weighed so heavily on him. He had been frightened! He had let himself be pushed by these Vasari who had no rank! The Council was not higher than the Fleet Admiral Commander. Right? No, right. There was none higher than the Fleet Admiral Commander. Flankx would not act so shamefully today. Today, when the Council came, he would show them who led the Vasari.
    Flankx felt a slight chill on his neck, and looked up. The Council of Nine stood before him in an semicircle. They looked at him steadily.
    Flankx took a deep breath. "I am not coming."
    The Council as one raised their eyebrows.
    "I am not coming. I am the Fleet Admiral Commander and I do as I wish. And I wish to stay here and command. There is none higher than the Fleet Admiral Commander."
    The Council of Nine took a menacing step forward in perfect unison.
    Flankx's voice took on a shaky hesitance. "There is none higher than the Fleet Admiral Commander."
    The Council took another step towards him.
    "There is none higher than the Fleet Admiral Commander!"
    The Council stepped forward again.
    "There is none...Admiral Commander!" The words seemed harder to form.
    The Council stepped again.
    "No! You...cannot....I am....Admiral Commander! None...higher!"
    The Council circled him on every side. Flankx's vision swam. The nine Vasari became eighteen. He was looking at two, no four electronic documents. Lights burst in front of his eyes. Flankx felt like he was falling slowly down a dark hole.
    "Nnnnn---!"
    It was too late. Drugged, Flankx fell snoring to the floor.


    It was the brightness that woke Flankx. A green sun blasted its light across the hard, dusty ground, making it so Flankx had to squint to see anything. Also, there was a buzzing in his ear. His hand went up to touch it, but some metal object blocked his fingers' way. A voice came out of the object.
    "Don't try to remove this, it won't work. It's made from Valcanic lava."
    Flankx cursed aloud, then cursed again as the action brought a spasm of pain to his already aching head.
    "The aftereffects of the drug will wear down soon. Now, I want you to turn to your left."
    Flankx scornfully turned to his right. Obviously the Council had drugged him and taken him to the site of the Test. This was probably the beginning. Well, if he didn't want to take it, he wouldn't. They couldn't force him.
    "Flankx, I want you to look at your surroundings."
    Flankx did no such thing.
    "Flankx, do you see any food here? Do you see anything at all? You will die before you leave this planet. It's completely uninhabited. We blasted through the human's pathetic defenses before setting you down here. If starvation doesn't kill you, the radiation from our bombardment will."
    Flankx looked down at his skin. How long did it take before bombardment radiation started to affect you?
    "Oh you'll be fine if you follow my instructions and complete your Test. Besides, the whole of the Vasari are waiting on you."
    Flankx had forgotten about that. The Test's location was a complete secret, but all the Vasari knew what it entailed. What the first part of it entailed, at least. No one knew what it actually contained. Flankx would have to enter three caves. Each time he entered, all of the Vasari would hear the name of the cave. Every Vasari would hear of his victorious emergence from each cave. Each Vasari would know now that Flankx had begun his Test, but when they did not hear him enter the first cave, they would call him weak or scared. The Council left him with no choice.
    "That's right," the voice spoke in his ear, "you have no choice. Now turn to your left."
    Flankx turned, and saw what he knew he'd see. A mountain thrust itself up into the sky, larger than any mountain Flankx had ever seen. And in the foothills of the mountain, Flankx could see caves. The cave mouths were enormous, four or five spans taller than any Vasari. Etched around each cave mouth were intricate runes and symbols. Flankx counted four caves.
    "Four?" Flankx spoke aloud in surprise.
    "You will never enter the fourth cave," the voice hissed insistently into his ear, "do you hear me Flankx? You will never go into the fourth cave!"
    Flankx nodded, but inside he was thinking fast. Did he detect nervousness in the voice? Dare he say fear? He would have to examine that fourth cave when he had the chance.

    Somehow the voice from the object knew he had nodded. "Now walk to the first cave."
    Flankx was about to protest that he didn't know which was the first cave, but at that moment one of the caves seemed to shimmer. The cave to the far right was glowing with a faint yellowish light. Well then, that answered that question. Without another pause Flankx headed towards the cave.


    The Dangers of the Past. Few have survived, and few will survive. The dangers of the past will confront you, and try to turn you from your goal. Do not let them. Honor to your forefathers.
    Aeb'nir looked up as the solemn voice hissed in his ear. He made eye contact with the Vasari nearest him, and confirmed what he was thinking. Flankx was embarking on the Test. He had just reached the first cave. Looking around the command center, he saw all the other Vasari looking back at him. They had all heard the voice. They were waiting for orders.
    "Shut down the engines," Aeb'nir commanded, "put the ship on minimal power, and notify the rest of the fleet to follow suit. We wait on the Test."
    The group of Vasari nodded, and went about preparing the ship for minimal response, as the alert level was called. Aeb'nir strained his hearing, wishing against hope that he would hear the voice again. It was not that he cared whether or not Flankx succeeded, in truth he couldn't care less, but it was the sound of the voice that he hearkened after. It was the sound of what the Vasari had never heard, and never would hear. It was the sound of what the Vasari most longed for. It was the sound of a Vasari women.


    The Dangers of the Past. Few have survived, and few will survive. The dangers of the past will confront you, and try to turn you from your goal. Do not let them. Honor to your forefathers.   
    Fokxnim looked up as the voice whispered in his ear. Looking around, he confirmed with the rest of the Mani'k near him that they had heard it too. So. Flankx was finally taking the Test. For a moment Fokxnim struggled with whether he wanted Flankx to succeed. Flankx could fail and die....or he could survive and Fokxnim could hear more of the voice of the Test. He still hadn't decided when Mani'k Kilodim entered the room.
    Bowing and touching forefinger to forehead, Kilodim presented his report. "Elite Subjugator Aeb'nir has put the ship on minimal response for the duration of the Test, Da'Mani'k."
    Fokxnim nodded approvingly. "It is what must be done. No Vasari would risk being too distracted to hear the Test's call."
    "For the report on Flankx's progress or the sound of the Test's voice?" Kilodim responded, grinning.
    Fokxnim looked at him sourly. Kilodim's smile withdrew.
    "I-I'll be departing now, Da'Mani'k," Kilodim muttered, biting into his arm, "I'll keep watch on the developments in the command center."
    "You are dismissed, Mani'k Kilodim."

The Trader Emergency Coalition

8 years ago, inner sector, western rim, galactic position 940,945, planet christened "Matsuda 1"

    The Dangers of the Past. Few have survived, and few will survive. The dangers of the past will confront you, and try to turn you from your goal. Do not let them. Honor to your forefathers.
    Kol stopped sharply as the voice hissed into his ear. He looked around for the owner of the voice. There was no one near him, in fact, the only person in this section of the station was Judman and Kol himself. Who had whispered that voice? What did it mean?
    "Kol?"
    Kol looked up. Judman was watching him anxiously.
    "You all right, son? Feeling woozy again?"
    "I'm fine, Major," Kol said with fake annoyance, allowing Judman to shepherd him down the corridor. "I thought I heard something, but I was wrong. So what's this big surprise that had us take a 3 month-long voyage for?"
    "All in good time, Commodore," Judman said, grinning, "all in good time."
    They then stopped in front of a large hatch. Above the door in large red letters were the words 'Factory 1, authorized personnel only.'
    "Wha-?" Kol asked, but Judman hushed him.
    "Just through the door now, Kol. Almost there."
    Kol watched as if in a dream as Judman swung the wheel to the hatch open and climbed through, ducking to avoid hitting the top of the hatch. Kol walked slowly through the opening after him. He stood in a large, empty hangar. Or, it would have been empty if a Kol Battleship had not taken up most of the space, suspended in the middle of the hangar by rod clamps. Judman laughed at the look on Kol's face.
    "Come on, let's meet your crew."
    He led Kol over to the edge of the enormous ship, where a cluster of men stood apparently waiting for them. Kol recognized a couple of the men from his old command bridge.
    "Higgins!" Kol said in surprise as the man came up to shake his hand. "What are you doing here?"
    "Well what else but to serve the admiral Alexander Kol in space combat throughout the universe?" He replied, grinning.
    Kol knocked the man's hand away and embrace him in a bear hug. "It's good to see you here, friend."
    "Watch out for that Sivvins fellow," Higgins whispered back, "I think he's trying to steal my name. And could you let me go? I think my lung just touched the back of my spine."
    Kol released him with a laugh, shaking the hands of the rest of his command bridge crew. Some were the same, yet many were new. But they all had one thing in common. They all knew who Kol was and they all yearned for a chance to learn and work with him. That Judman saw in every one of them, in a glance, a casual remark, a wistful longing that appeared on someone's face as they watched Kol talk with someone. But who would be the cowards? The stubborn? The resentful? A command bridge always had a few of each, it was common knowledge. But Judman couldn't tell with a glance who out of these men would betray Kol when they learned the true reason he was the hero of the Trade Order. Not yet.
    After Kol had shook hands with each member of his staff and spoke with each of them in turn, he felt a hand on the back of his neck and a voice whispered in his ear. "You have a lot of nerve coming back here..."
    Kol whirled around and laughed in joy. "Daniels! It's been a while since I've last saw you! What are you doing here?"
    "Oh yes, Alex, I'm good. And you?" Sergeant Cooldred Daniels replied, grinning. "And I'm here to serve the great hero of the Trader Emergency Coalition by oiling his most sacred cannons and working his most precious of machinery."
    "You're to be my head mechanic?"
    "Mechanic? Hell, I'm your weapons specialist. Has it really been that long, Alex?"
    Kol laughed. "It's been what, six months since I last saw you? Who knows what you've gotten yourself into since then. For all I know you trumped the dean of Shipyard Harbors and became the head mechanic of the Trade Order!"
    "Sadly, keeping your pile of rusty bolts shiny and in tiptop condition is not my destiny, oh clever one, but to work your new gauss cannon and a handful of other...trinkets. I think you'll come to appreciate my worth aboard your ship in time. And what in sol's name is Shipyard Harbors?"
    "Isn't it the college for mechanics enlisted in the TEC?"
    "Is it? Good thing I'm into shooting then. I don't know what I'd do if my resume said I attended college and got my degree at a place called Shipyard Harbors."
    "Um, Commodore?" A timid voice interrupted the friendly exchange.
    Kol turned around to meet a bald man with large oval glasses and a handkerchief that the man used to wipe his unusually shiny brow.
    "Can I help you, sir?"
    "I've been instructed to lead you to Operations. If you will follow me?"
    "Certainly, my good man," Kol replied, a hint of childish humor glinting in his eye. "Come, good Major Judman! We are off to the Operations department!"
    Judman followed Kol out of the hangar, leaving the command bridge crew in the shadow of the colossal capital ship, its brownish-gold paint still sparkling from its last coating.
    "Did the ops people tell you why I'm being summoned?" Kol asked as he trotted to keep up with the sweaty bald man.
    "No, not me, Commodore," the man said nervously, wiping his brow, "I'm just a receptionist, you see. They said if you asked to tell you it was about the price of a drop of sunlight at dawn."
    Kol stopped in his tracks. "Is this a joke? Did someone put you up to this?"
    The sweaty man stopped and turning, wringing his handkerchief in his hands. "What? I--this is no joke! Are you feeling all right, sir?"
    Kol slumped against the wall and placed a clammy hand to his forehead. His heart was beating faster than a rabbit's.
    "Kol?" Judman laid a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?"
    "That phrase," Kol said in shock as images flashed through his head, "I know who's waiting for me. And its not any ops personnel."
    "Who is it then?" Judman asked in confusion.
    Kol suddenly straightened and a new gleam entered his eye. A dangerous gleam.
    "It's the Guild of Marksmen," he said in a low voice, "they're here."
     Judman looked up for the sweaty man, but he had disappeared.

typo. should be new, not knew

i really liked it. a couple of minor things, may sound like nitpicking and im sorry if it does. a sergeant as some sort of bridge weapons specialist? first of all, sergeant is an army rank, not navy. second of all, its not even that high of a rank. third of all, bridge officers are commissioned, not NCOs.

im still a little fuzzy on the whole Kol situation. how does he know all these people? im not quite following.

a vasari made a funny! didnt think that would ever happen.

but all in all, an excellent addition to sinners