Sinners - your favorite Sin's tale

not-so-short story inspired from Sins of a Solar Empire

Published on November 27, 2008 By Fokxnim In Sins of a Solar Empire

Sinners

***Sinners has been discontinued. See last page for details.***

Sinners is currently (as of Febuary 15)...172 pages!

Part 2 HAS BEGUN! Here's the teaser for those of you who haven't seen it yet, or would like to be reminded of what's to come.

Part 2: Destruction

Teaser

Kol:

captured by the vicious Mani'k, can Kol escape from the Vasari before he himself is turned into one of the Vasari? And even if he can manage to escape, the Guild of Marksmen is out there, looking for him...

Archie:

Sent back to his home planet to solve a streak of murders committed by a close friend, will he join the murderer? Or will he pay the ultimate sacrifice?

Zeke:

Forever battling for control of his body, Zeke's psionic powers are growing stronger, and Alfr'eda is growing frightened. Can a Silent One rejoin the Unity? What would that mean for her? In the meantime, there are Sinners to purge. But her next target may be the most difficult and dangerous yet....The Prime Chancellor himself.

Jessica:

After the great Admiral Kol mysteriously disappears, Jessica steps up to pick up the empty seat of power. But others want the coveted Admiral position as well, and they will stop at nothing to get it. Does the "female Kol" have what it takes to reach Admiralty without the powers of a Marksman? Or will she just be a listing in the number of dead as the contestants fight to the death--for some of them--literally?

Veronica:

Her power taken away "indefinitely" by Haiti, she is forced to hide herself as one of the Vasari's Mani'k. Will her loyalty to the Unity remain strong enough to do what she must with the human prisoner? Or will she help Kol escape to rebel against Haiti in the only pitiful, desperate way she can? And if she aides the terran, will Kol return the sympathy or will he himself capture her?

Agent Karridan:

An Advent spy sent to the Trader worlds to discreetly scout out psionically-active humans that could be spared the destruction of the Reemergence, he hears rumors of a mysterious and deadly killer, and finds himself strangely intrigued. Sneaking into a recent crime scene, Karridan notices a faint psionic residue, and immediately stashes himself in Archie Kol's team as they hunt the murderer. The resulting explosion when he comes into contact with Zeke and Alfr'eda? A thousand suns undergoing supernova will not compare.

Professor Newman:

Working himself near to exhaustion, trying furiously to complete his project before command shuts him down, Newman is running out of time. For himself and for the TEC. Will he succeed? Welcome to the Novalith Project.

Sinners on Blogspot:

http://cisinners.blogspot.com/

Comments (Page 31)

451

Fokxnim

on Sep 23, 2009

eoncommander

reply 450

i really liked it. a couple of minor things, may sound like nitpicking and im sorry if it does. a sergeant as some sort of bridge weapons specialist? first of all, sergeant is an army rank, not navy. second of all, its not even that high of a rank. third of all, bridge officers are commissioned, not NCOs.

im still a little fuzzy on the whole Kol situation. how does he know all these people? im not quite following.

a vasari made a funny! didnt think that would ever happen.

but all in all, an excellent addition to sinners

well in the TEC there is no separate army and navy, so it all got kinda jumbled together. idn how to post my graph of ranks, i did it somehow before but i cant anymore, but here are the TEC ranks from lowest to highest.

Apprentice, Senior Apprentice (those who are in training, Crewman (the lowest rank of men who've passed basic and all other training and work aboard military ships), Petty Officer 3rd Class, Petty Officer 2nd Class, Petty Officer 1st Class, Chief Petty Officer, Private, Private Senior Rank, Corporal, Sergeant, Warrant Officer, Officer of the Deck, Officer of the Cannons, Officer of the Engies, Major, Lieutenant, Junior Grade, Lieutenant, Lieutenant Commadner, Commander, Captain, Commodore, Rear Admiral of the Fleet, Vice Admiral, Admiral

Most of these are taken from the U.S. Navy, but I take freely from all other military groups and even made up some of my own. Yeah, Sergeant isn't that high on the charts, but he's only the weapons specialist in charge of the capital ship's abilities (for lack of a better word).

452

Fokxnim

on Sep 23, 2009

eoncommander

reply 449

Kol released him with a laugh, shaking the hands of the rest of his command bridge crew. Some were the same, yet many were knew.
typo. should be new, not knew

thank you! corrected.

453

Fokxnim

on Sep 23, 2009

eoncommander

reply 450

a vasari made a funny! didnt think that would ever happen.

Of course I no exactly which part you're talking about because I planned for the funny to be in there.

But errrr.............what funny are you refering to? I'm too lazy to read through the Vasari part again right now

454

eoncommander

on Sep 24, 2009

you forgot the five-star rank. fleet admiral

455

eoncommander

on Sep 24, 2009

The Dangers of the Past. Few have survived, and few will survive. The dangers of the past will confront you, and try to turn you from your goal. Do not let them. Honor to your forefathers.

Fokxnim looked up as the voice whispered in his ear. Looking around, he confirmed with the rest of the Mani'k near him that they had heard it too. So. Flankx was finally taking the Test. For a moment Fokxnim struggled with whether he wanted Flankx to succeed. Flankx could fail and die....or he could survive and Fokxnim could hear more of the voice of the Test. He still hadn't decided when Mani'k Kilodim entered the room.

Bowing and touching forefinger to forehead, Kilodim presented his report. "Elite Subjugator Aeb'nir has put the ship on minimal response for the duration of the Test, Da'Mani'k."

Fokxnim nodded approvingly. "It is what must be done. No Vasari would risk being too distracted to hear the Test's call."

"For the report on Flankx's progress or the sound of the Test's voice?" Kilodim responded, grinning.

Fokxnim looked at him sourly. Kilodim's smile withdrew.

"I-I'll be departing now, Da'Mani'k," Kilodim muttered, biting into his arm, "I'll keep watch on the developments in the command center."

"You are dismissed, Mani'k Kilodim."

wait, the vasari can smile???!!!

on Sep 24, 2009

on Sep 24, 2009

eoncommander

reply 454

you forgot the five-star rank. fleet admiral

fleet admiral commander is the Vasari equivalent of the admiral, so I don't want to mix the names too closely.

458

eoncommander

on Sep 26, 2009

so make up a new name. admiral-of-the-line

459

Fokxnim

on Sep 26, 2009

I was thinking about just leaving Admiral as the highest position.

460

eoncommander

on Sep 26, 2009

you realize that you would have about 1000 admirals, and no one to outrank them and order them around. i would even argue that there would be a 6-star and possibly even 7-star rank by this point

461

Fokxnim

on Sep 26, 2009

First of all, I agree with you, but the Admiral position has to be the highest rank in the TEC, or it'll completely change the whole dynamic of the TEC storyline for part 2. So I have to stick with it.

So the Admiral position has metaphorically evolved by this point, so the Admiral or Admiralty position (giving it a royal flavor) is the most coveted position in the TEC and the pretty much "king" of the Emergency Coaliton. And king meaning he makes up all the hard decisions, though he has a group of trusted advisors that help him make up said decisions. But instead of the Trade Order which will be governed by levels of committees, the TEC is governed by a king figure and his advisors. (i need a better world for king thats not dictator, tyrant, or ruler. English is escaping me at the moment. What other words for king are there? I can't think of them)

There are about 20-50 Vice Admirals (the exact number is important to the storyline too and will be decided, but it won't be less than 20 or more than 50), and a whole bunch of Rear Admirals and Commodores, but only one Admiral.

Again, so you don't argue, I do agree that theoretically there should be a few more levels above Admiral, but unfortunately that would cause too much revising for me in the story already written and the storyline of what's going to happen, so it's gotta stay as it is. Maybe if you have another word for Admiral that has Admiral in its name, but gives it more pomp and flair, that would be awesome.

462

DNA101

on Sep 27, 2009

how about High Admiral Commander? mmm nah...

463

eoncommander

on Sep 27, 2009

again, that sounds a lot like the vasari position

maybe... high leader man?

you could call it secretary of the navy, or minister of the navy, even though he wouldnt really be a part of a government. it would be a symbol of humility and equality. you could also try marhsal or navarch (shows up as a a synonym on dictionary.com)

464

Fokxnim

on Sep 27, 2009

Actually I used to have it as Admiral Chief of Spacial Operations (instead of Naval), but I thought that was too long so I shortened it to Admiral. Now I have an idea that makes me look stupid in hindsight. The rank will be called Admiral Chief of Spacial Operations, but when you address the man, you'd just say Admiral. ex: instead of Admiral Chief of Spacial Operations Kol, it would be Admiral Kol, but the official name of the rank would still be Admiral Chief of Spacial Operations. That make sense?

465

eoncommander

on Sep 27, 2009

perfectly. i like it

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