Liked the new chapters pretty well, but theres a few things I didn't like. One, was the damage points and antimatter points and sheild points. It didn't sound good, especially damage points, as I believe shields and armor on ships would vary throughout the ship, and a missle or something hitting it would cause more or less damage. So, while it could be implimented, it sounds like its susposed to be in a game. Also, I have never heard that used in other books with large fleets of ships, the authors always used different methods to represent damage. And another thing, damage would vary, and while a weapon might have a power output or something, you can never be sure just how much damage it will cause it will cause. I think I just repeated myself using different words, but that was to emphasize my point

Now, the thing about Hati removing Veronica's psitech, I think theres a problem with that. In the Sins manual, it says that the Advent use neuro chemicals and cybernetic implants to augment their psionic abilities.  I would assume that everyone in the Unity, uses these to increase psionic abilities, and the higher ranking people in the Advent are the ones that are simply more receptive to the psitech as it has a greater effect on them, increasing telepathic abilities and so, of course rank. Back to Hati removing Veronica's "Psitech", for him to do that, that would mean removing whatever she was using to modify her abilities, which would probably be neuro chemicals and cibernetic implants, would mean Hati would most likely have to perform surgery on her to remove the implants, and, I think if she was using the neuro chemicals, he would have to wait a while, possibly even weeks, for the chemicals to flush out of her system because she probably had to take regular doses of them to keep enhancing her abilities. So, I don't think he was removing her psitech, as that only modifies her natural telepathic abilities. Now, if he removes her basic telepathic abilities, her psitech is rendered useless, except possibly allowing her to sense vague emotions. Since Hati is apparently one of the most powerful and apperently arrogant telepaths the Advent have ever had, he could get into her head through the ordinary telepathic network the Advent have, and he could possibly rewire her mind, blocking whatever gives her telepathic abilities, or essentialy setting up a mental block that maybe only he could remove. But, my point is, psitech multiplies a person's current psionic ability, but is not the ability itself

In the manual, they refer to PsiTech as being the Advent's actual "power," not just the augmented side. Now, I'm not saying what you said was wrong, and I'll likely be changing the Kol 2.0 chapter, but for Haiti and Veronica, I believe it works perfectly. The neurochemicals and implants only augment an Advent's abilities, it doesn't create them. If Haiti removes Veronica's original PsiTech, those augments would be useless. Multiplying anything by zero is still zero. Kind of what you were saying at the end, but that's how I see it.

"At an early age, Advent children are taught to seek enlightenment in whichever way naturally suits them and it is common to see even the very young using neurochemicals or artificial implants to augment their mental abilities. This advanced level of integration with their technology – known as PsiTech – is largely responsible for the Advent‘s strange sense of collectivism, and allows them to share their thoughts and feelings on an almost innate level." - Sins manual

Ok, so rereading the manual, PsiTech is the combination of natural and augmented power. I'll be rewriting that chapter too. Thanks for pointing that out.

OK! Both chapters 10, 2 and 10, 3 have been edited and changed! If you still have problems with them, let me know. And before anyone mentions this, antimatter will remain in points. Not changing that, that's how they measure how much they have of it.

typo, i guess. third paragraph. just wanted to bring that to your attention

oh, gotta go back and read 10.2 again

i liked the removal of the psitech bit, thought it made a lot of sense.

and i use IE, and the font looks weird

all in all, a very good chapter. though the high one must be human. i mean, a normal human, or at least used to be. have you read The Undying's post about the background to sins? https://forums.sinsofasolarempire.com/360075 it is quite good

yeah i've been reading that. and why does the High One have to be human? Not saying yes or no, just want to know your reasoning.

much better. talking about chapter 10, part 2. i would tweak a few things, like instead of a private have a colonel or something, who might actually have contributed to the design, or overseen the building o fthe ship, and who would actually know something about the ship. but thats very minor

thanks, i forgot the word survive.

its a guess. he said, "good hunting." its a term a modern military man might use, not an advent god

Well, a scientist could have a low rank and still work on the ship. A higher rank would more likely delegate it to someone lower. Or that's how I saw it.

Ok.....ha not the connection I was trying to achieve, but you'll see who else uses that phrase in later chapters...

Actually, I went back again and replaced points of antimatter to units of antimatter. I liked that better.

So school has officially started up again, so the times when I can write more of Sinners will get decidedly fewer. Still, I managed well enough last year. Just give me some time to get things straight, and then Sinners should be going along smoothly again. The next part's almost done, it just needs a couple more paragraphs....2-3 days at the most.

Chapter 11, part 1
The Watcher

The Vasari

8 years ago, galactic position 305, 741, space anomaly named Esquian's Fall

    "Capital ship Rakulas in position, Fleet Admiral Commander," Aeb'nir spoke into the transceiver.
    There was a hiss of static as Flankx hissed himself on the other end. "Approach and apprehend. Send in the Mani'k first."
    "Your will, Fleet Admiral Commander," Aeb'nir replied, looking down and touching his forehead with his forefinger. The Fleet Admiral Commander couldn't see him, but that did not mean Aeb'nir would throw away such deeply-rooted tradition.
    Aeb'nir pressed a button and a Mani'k, face hidden by what they called a face shield, appeared on the transceiver's holographic display system.
    "You have first contact. Stay within radio distance of the back-up crew at all times." Aeb'nir hissed at the figure.
    "Understood, Elite Subjugator." The Mani'k saluted and the holographic image disappeared.
    Aeb'nir leaned back in his command chair and studied the object hovering in space intently. It could have been a Vasari craft, once, but it was too destroyed now to tell. Any markings that would have been on the outer hull were too charred out to establish, and the frame had been so distorted it could have been a product of the Darkness and they wouldn't be able to tell. That thought made Aeb'nir shiver. He would give anything he owned not to be one of the Mani'k entering that thing right now. But then, if he was Mani'k, he wouldn't be having these feelings anyway. The ship shuddered as the tiny boarding craft sped off, packed to the brim with Mani'k. Aeb'nir wished he could offer a blessing to them, but he didn't know a single one of their names. He sighed, his vocal strings dilating to near the farthest they could go. He was going to have to change things.

    Mani'k Yorashknir stood silently as the pilot skillfully flew the boarding striker through space. He was very nearly sweating out of his skin. Yorashknir smiled at that. No doubt the cause of his alarm was the thirty-odd Mani'k piled into the back of the craft. Yorashknir and two guards were the only ones present in the cockpit, and that was crowded as it was. Leaning forward, he rested his postmorteyim against the wall of the cockpit and studied the floating wreck, swiftly approaching. The pilot glanced at the intricate symbols crisscrossing the spear and shivered. He very nearly let out a whimper! Yorashknir leaned back and sneered. Sometimes the rest of the Vasari seemed unbearable. Of course, soon they would not matter anyway. Once they were dead. Once the Da'Mani'k became the Fleet Admiral Commander, the Exodus would have no need of the rest of the Vasari. You were either Mani'k, or you were nothing. There was a bump against the fore of the ship, and Yorashknir stumbled. Darkness take him, he had forgotten to watch the wreck! Now they were right alongside it, and the nanodrills along the forward hull were digging an entrance into the wreck's hull. Yorashknir glided out of the cockpit and went to the back of the striker, where the rest of the Mani'k were standing patiently at attention, spears grasped firmly in their hands.
    "Into the alleys," Yorashknir growled, gripping his own spear tightly himself. In moments the nanodrills would push their way in, and he wanted the Mani'k right behind them. The Mani'k filed out through two passages, one on the right and on one the left. The Vasari called them the alleys simply because they were small and cramped. The nanodrills finished their work, for the force fields against the exits on both alleys dissipated, and the Mani'k flowed through the doorways with less sound than the nanodrills themselves. That was quite an achievement. The nanodrills were designed to create absolutely no sound waves while drilling. And the Mani'k were quieter. Stepping onto the gritty surface of the wreck, Yorashknir quickly formed the Mani'k into search parties of five and set off with his own party for the command deck. If there was someone still on the ship, they would be there.
    Yorashknir sliced through the heavy command deck doors with his postmorteyim, letting the cut slices fall to the floor. The room was awash in dark shadows and sparking control panels. There could be someone here, but the lights were off. They'd have to look by hand. Yorashknir signaled to his Mani'k, and they branched of, fanning through the room. Yorashknir himself went to what would have been the captain's control panel. He reached out a hand, but swiftly took it back as the controls sparked and fizzed. It would be impossible to access the data logs on this craft. They'd have to get the full story from any survivors.
    Something moved in the shadows past the control panel. Yorashknir inched forward, holding up a hand to a Mani'k who was coming closer. He didn't want to scare away whoever was there. Especially if it was a potential prisoner. A thick stream of wires blocked his path and, looking up, Yorashknir saw a gaping hole in the paneled ceiling. He gave the wires a wide berth. The strong electrical currents that ran through the ceilings of command decks could fry a Vasari on touch. He made his way to the dark corner of the command deck, and peered into the darkness, his hand clutched tightly around his postmorteyim. He could see nothing. He bent down, trying to make out the shape of a body. A pair of green eyes lit up not an inch from his face. Startled, Yorashknir fell back and landed on the wires. He didn't even have the time to open his mouth in surprise as thousands of volts of electricity shot its way through his body.

    Mani'k Kilodim cursed softly as Yorashknir's body flew back against the wall with a sickening crunch, slowly sinking to the ground. The wires along the ground thrashed like hissing snakes and sparked menacingly. Several Mani'k back stepped quickly to avoid a flailing line. Kilodim didn't even bother checking on Yorashknir. He was certainly dead, and that left him in charge. In theory. For in every position in the Mani'k's closed ranks there were several "possibles" whenever a position cleared. As Yorashknir's second Kilodim was technically now the leader of this strike team, but he saw several Mani'k already stepping towards him, raising their postmorteyim. There was only one way to settle this for the Mani'k. Whoever was left alive would get the spot. Kilodim didn't spare time for thought, he spun quickly towards his nearest rival and lunged with his spear. The rival, Ixnasius, parried the blow and snorted through his vocal strings, the equivalent of a sneer. He knocked Kilodim's spear away from his face and struck at Kilodim. Kilodim hissed as he sliced off part of his arm. Appendage hanging limply by his side, Kilodim swiftly switched hands and stopped Ixnasius's spear from disconnecting his head from the rest of his body, and pushed, sending Ixnasius stumbling back. But Kilodim had no time to rest, for another Mani'k had come up behind Kilodim and he had to dive to avoid a spear in his back. Quickly scanning the room, Kilodim saw the other search parties filing quietly into the room before turning to face his two assailants. Ixnasius quickly severed the other Mani'k's arm and with a quick thrust stabbed the other Vasari in the chest. Ixnasius sliced upwards, creating two halves of the Vasari that stood there vainly for a few moments before peeling. One left. As a Mani'k he did not feel pain, but Kilodim knew the damage in his arm was severe. He would be hard pressed to conclude the mission on this pile of space junk and get his arm seen to before it would have to come off, and this fight with Ixnasius was not helping. Thinking quickly, Kilodim snatched a postmorteyim from a nearby Mani'k and hurled it at Ixnasius, following swiftly behind it. Ixnasius didn't have a chance. Dodging the flying spear, he presented a perfect target to Kilodim's own postmorteyim. Kilodim happily obliged. As Ixnasius fell to his knees, Kilodim's postmorteyim sticking from his chest, he looked up at Kilodim in what Kilodim thought was shock. Did Ixnasius really think he had what it took to beat him? Kilodim disgustedly withdrew his spear with a tug and Ixnasius keeled over. Turning, he surveyed the other Vasari. None of them moved except for the Mani'k who's postmorteyim Kilodim had taken. He retrieved his spear and joined the ranks of Mani'k quickly. None of them moved toward Kilodim, however. Kilodim nodded at them and inwardly sighed in relief. He ignored the throbbing pain in his arm and walked towards the corner of darkness that Yorashknir had been investigating. He had seen something, after all. That was why he had jumped back. Kilodim edged closer to the shadows, keeping a few feet between him and the cables. If he fell back, he was not going to die.
    Kilodim looked into the shadows, and someone looked back at him.

Please comment to let me know that you're reading and you're interested. The more people comment and say things, the faster I get chapters out to please those people.