oh right 

Tsurani  

The font isn't large, it's the browser you're using.  It comes out fine in Google Chrome.  Firefox does have an issue with the oversizing though.

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Summer Vacation?

damn.....

and i just finished my last exam and ive got nothing to do......

ah well better get a (shudder) job

Go ahead and try to publish it, but I doudt stardock or iron clad will let you  People could just go to this site to get the story

when he publishes hell stop writing the story on the thread

WHAT?

well theres no point in stardock< publishing a book< so that they can sell it if people go her and read it free< the only reason im slightly against publishing< he shopuld go for it< but i would miss the story

BACK! i should be around a computer with internet for the rest of the summer, so id expect random updates throughout the rest of the month. once school starts up again, idn. but for now, lets see if i can clear up a few things.

the Vasari are going to have a much larger role in the coming part. i didnt really mention this, but the Mani'k core of the Vasari armies is like that one tight-ass unit the young soldier always aspires to get into. and theyr wicked evil and wicked good at fighting. like 3 Marksmen in one Mani'k soldier. so wait for that.

The Vasari names from the game are just the ships, not the actual people running them. But I get what you're saying. I didn't stress enough that when the Jackal was traveling to the areas of conflict the Vasari were overriding the human race, but I'm going to fix that in my rounds of editing and review. Finally, the TEC didn't call them the Advent 1,000 years ago, but that doesn't mean the Advent didn't call themselves that. Remember, the TEC never communicated with the society of deviants, they just expelled them. Gives me some wriggle room there.

unfortunately, that is true. If I get permission to publish from Ironclad, I'm going to leave up to ch. 2 or 3 (not sure yet), but remove the rest of the story from the internet. And if this happens, I'm going to ask a certain few of you who'd I like to be my editing team to help me work out any issues (as I tend to have, ha) in my chapters, but that's all what if's. But if you'd like to be in that made-up editing team, just make an insightful and though-provoking post about something in my story and how it could be changed to be better. that's what im hypothetically looking for.

I think you should extend the first Vasari part cause its awesome!

P.S. Are we gonna find out about whats chasing the Vasari?

eventually. wen the story gets to that point. but thats a few hundred pages off. still hav to reach the beginning of the Sins game, the three (or first 2 at least) expansions, and then we get to what's chasing the Vasari. but i might change my mind and put them in beforehand, so keep your hopes up.

Its been very good so far, you just need some more character development (i.e. Archie Kol), as well as how the Vasari, TEC, and Advent societies work as a whole. With a few minor additions and the editing, it will become a very good story.

good idea! we do need a bit more background for the races, so how their societies work would be good, im thinkning Romanish for Vasari, Feudal Japan or England for Advent and America for TEC

I think we need abit more back story to the characters, only a bit though, ill post if i think of something else

part 2 should be more in-depth. i might abolish 3-part chapters and just make one big normal chapter. plus, in my revision checks, i will be making major changes to some of the chapters to provide more information and make them more realistic.

Is there any way I can get this in a smaller font? Maybe an alternate site where all this stuff is stored... it's so big it hurts my eyes.....